Claws of Status

The other night at book club, it dawned on me that perhaps I am kind of a slob. My friend Jackie was talking about how she likes to go to the Wal-Mart in the neighboring suburb as opposed to the one closest to her house because she's less likely to see people she knows there and it won't matter if she hasn't brushed her hair for the past three days. Apparently, if she goes to the Wal-Mart near her house, she finds it necessary to get all dolled up so as not to offend the eyes of any of her friends or acquaintances should she come across them in the cereal aisle.


I like to occasionally watch What Not to Wear on TLC and I have often heard Stacy and Clinton bitching and moaning about how American housewives are the sloppiest dressers in the world. I guess they are talking about people like me. I wouldn't think twice about heading to Target without make-up on or with a ballcap thrown over my messy hair.

I wish I had the time and energy to try to look like a MILF. Instead, I frequently go to preschool drop-off or to the store looking like I just rolled out of bed. ( Well, in some cases I have but not at 3 pm).

I do make some attempt to look presentable. I usually pull my hair back and maybe put on some mascara, but I am frequently wearing yesterday's sweats and often have not showered yet that day. My husband says I don't stink, so I tell myself that it's OK.


I envy those women and moms who look effortlessly put-together. You know, the ones with the perfectly highlighted hair with no visible roots. The ones wearing a cute outfit that makes them look young and hip but hides the mommy pouch. The ones with the latest handbag and great shoes that were not chosen for their comfort and functionality.

Above all, what I envy the absolute most about these women is their french-manicured set of nails. I love the way they look. They whisper, "This woman is not spending all day scrubbing toilets and wiping snot off noses. This woman has the time and money to pamper herself. This woman is sexy and beautiful and immaculate."

I envy this because it is something I will never have. Let's ignore the fact that the one or two times I have had acrylic nails for a wedding, I had to take them off because I couldn't even get my contacts out of my eyes. And ignore the fact that my hands aren't my best feature. I don't have and may not ever have the money or time to devote to these claws of status. And even if I did, I probably wouldn't get them done. I would always feel fake, like they didn't belong on me. Like they were an effort to be something I'm not.

What it all boils down to is that I think some people have the ability and interest in always looking great. But others, like me, often get caught up in doing other things, like reading or blogging, and don't put importance, or maybe enough importance on looking fabulous. Many times, I would rather be doing something else and I always would rather be judged for my mind over my appearance.

Does this indicate that I have some self-esteem issue? That I don't care enough about myself to present myself in the best light possible? Or is it just that I value other things and am a stressed out mother of two very young children?

I probably should put a little more effort into my looks. I heard on Oprah the other day that to spice up your sex life you should try to look your best when your husband comes home. I guess that means no sweats and ponytails. I wonder if those mommy-divas are having great sex?