Monday, May 19, 2008

Been Gone Too Long

I am sure I have exactly zero readers now after my extended absence, but just in case there is anyone still out there, I thought I would offer an explanation for my hiatus. I am ready to jump back in, though my posts may become somewhat more abbreviated due to time nowadays.

Major, major upheaval in casa Molly the past month.

First of all, huge daycare problems. We did not get a spot in any of the three acceptable day cares. This resulted in two weeks of teeth gnashing and hair pulling trying to decide what to do. We toured several alternatives which all sucked. Guess that's why they had openings. In the end, I decided that I have the whole rest of my life to work, and only a few short years to be home with my children so I will not be returning to work next year. It was an agonizing decision as I was really excited about getting back to the classroom, but I am at peace with it now after seeing where I would have to leave my kids if I wanted to do it. So, that crisis is over and done with.

Then, out of the blue, my husband's grandmother, to whom we are very close and see every week, was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has had a biopsy, lumpectomy, and mastectomy all in the last three-four weeks. She's 82, so of course we have been very worried about how she will fare through all this. Luckily though, she is one tough broad and is fighting it tooth and nail. She actually had the mastectomy today and is doing just fine.

Finally, and here's the kicker.....there is a chance I have Hodgkin's disease or non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I've had this enlarged lymph node in my groin for about 6 months now. The one has become several and they are all hard, fixed, and painless. I have not been sick or had any injuries or infections that might result in enlarged nodes. We have ruled out any infectious diseases through blood work. I have also been very tired lately. I get 8-9 hours of sleep a night but an still exhausted all day. And, last night, I woke up drenched in sweat something I never, ever experience. I am always freezing at night, never hot. These things can weigh heavy on a girl's mind, you know, and I have been pretty consumed with worrying about it all. I've also had a snafu with finding a really good doctor and have been off on a goose chase of sorts, but finally have an appointment with an Internal Medicine specialist at the major research hospital here on Wednesday. Lymphoma is relatively rare and the odds are I don't have it, but we won't know for sure without a surgical biopsy.

So, there you have it. That's where I have been. I've also been trying to spend more time actively engaged with my kids in an effort to improve some behavior. It is working some.
I am going to try to start posting again though, at least every other day, if not daily. So don't give up on me totally. I'm still here.


Missybw said...

I'm just so glad you're okay and still among us... you still have readers too. As a matter of fact we had a girl blogger lunch two weeks ago and you (and your disappearance) were talked about. We are going to have another one... I'll let you know when so maybe you can make it. We've missed you!

BTW - good decision I think. I know it was tough, but you're right about having the rest of your life to work and only a short window to raise your babies.

Lots of blogging love! Welcome home!

ms-teacher said...

sometimes life happens. You're in my blogfeed, so I, of course was very happy to see that you had posted.

I'm sorry to hear about all that's going on in your life. Keep us posted regarding your and your husband's grandmother health.

Teaching will be here when you're ready.

Newscoma said...

You are in the feedreader and I was glad to see you back.
Been through the cancer thing with family members, so are YOU okay?
Yikes. Sending you best wishes.

Jennilu said...

I hadn't given up you; your listed in my favorites and I would check almost daily. I am sorry to hear about all of the stresses you have been enduring. I will be thinking about you and we will say a little prayer for your's and your grandmother's health. Try to think happy thoughts :) I know it is pretty hard when you get this much thrown at you at once.

Jennifer H said...

You're in my reader, and I was happy to see that you are back. I'm sorry to hear about your husband's grandmother--sounds like she's a fighter, but what a big thing to have to fight against.

I'm sending good thoughts and prayers for her, and also that your doctor appointment leads to a clean bill of health. My fingers and all my toes are crossed.

Queen Mommy said...

Welcome back!!! WOW that sounds like a lot of life in the past month.

Hang on and hang in!!!

Anonymous said...

Good lord! What a lot of drama. I hope you are taking it all ok. Welcome back girl!

sexy said...