Friday, February 15, 2008

Post-holiday Decorating Tips

My blog has gotten entirely too serious this week. I don't know any good jokes, so you'll have to be amused by this.

I have a new home decor thing going. It's called post-Christmas chaos. You too can achieve this delightful look by doing the following things.

Take all the ornaments off the lower branches of your tree (think three year old height and under) and scatter them around the house. Be sure to reserve some to hang only on the middle branches. This way your tree will look pleasantly unbalanced.

If you have garland on your tree, take it off and wrap it around one branch so that it hangs on the ground in a puddle.

If you love icicles on your tree as I do, don't bother to try to evenly distribute them over the tree. Instead strew it along the ground in a six foot radius around the tree.

Take every singe toy in your house and place them strategically in the middle of all the central pathways in your home. Your feet will love this, as will your ass when you bust it on that annoying pull-a-long dog that your one year old loves.

Ball up and shred a variety of tissue paper and scatter them like confetti over all the furniture. It gives a festive look to things.

Are you always wondering what to do with that wasted and seldom used space in your dining room? Turn it into wrapping central. Get out every box, bow, gift bag, ribbon and wrapping paper roll you own and spread them around on the table, chairs, buffet. You can even get daring and perch some on top of the china cabinet.

Save all those twist-tie things that toy manufactures have invented just to aggravate parents and infuriate children who want their toys out of the boxes NOW. Hide them in the couch cushions, preferably in an upright, poking position.

Get out all your suitcases and open them. Take out half your wardrobe and dump in. Place on in every bedroom.

The latest in home artwork--cardboard sculpture. Don't worry, you don't have to be an artist. Just find a bunch of old boxes, the more torn-up the better,and pile them one on top of the other in your garage. The more precarious, the better.
You can also do this with full garbage bags. This is useful if your garbage pickup is delayed due to the holidays

If you have any of those light-up deer and one happens to fall over, leave it for a while. It can be a sleeping deer.

I know I have a bright future in decorating.

No comments: